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HOT How to measure your love
#1
The things we measure are the things we improve. It is only through numbers and clear tracking that we have any idea if we are getting better or worse.                        -James Clear

You can't easily measure how love makes you feel, but you can measure the actions you take to contribute to a relationship.  After all, that's what love really is, a choice to act in a certain way & make an ongoing contribution to a partnership.

So to measure love, I've started recording and tracking small things I do to contribute to my relationship.

For example in the gym I track all my workouts with the intention of slowly adding a little bit of muscle every week and gradually getting stronger.

In business there are many potential things to track, but the key ones are traffic, subscribers & engagement.

If you want to improve your relationship, in theory you should just measure your progress, analyze the data and find ways to get better.
Of course it isn't quite that simple.

Early on in a relationship people often measure success by the length of time they have stayed together. This does give you some indication of success, because obviously if you have stayed together for sometimes, things must be going well.

Length of time is still a useful relationship measure. My grandparents were married for over seventy years and they were happy. People who make it that far must be doing something right. But time alone says nothing about the quality of the relationship or whether people are happy. It is very possible to be in a relationship for a long time &not be happy.  

The only thing that could be meaningfully and effectively measured was my contribution to the relationship. What was I bringing to the table on a consistent and regular basis? This should be the primary metric when measuring love.
That is, in fact, the essence of a good relationship. Love isn't about what you receive, it is about what you put in. Love is not a feeling, rather it is a choice.

As you move past the rose tinted glasses phase, love becomes incredibly hard work. You can't just sit back& expect it to happen, nor can you sit back & expect to reap the benefits without putting in the effort. 
Love needs to be nurtured &tended to.
So the best thing you can do to improve your relationship is to improve your contribution to the relationship. 

I am starting slowly on this and have recently implemented one measurable goal. That is to schedule one special or intimate moment, event or gift for my partner each week.
The idea is that every week he has that moment where he thinks, "She is really thinking about me and I feel loved."

This is similar to a scheduled date night, but doesn't actually have to be a date. Just something small but meaningful that communicates love.
I used to do nice things often, but sporadically. Then I started to notice that my efforts were dwindling. I realized I needed to step up my game.
Regularity & consistency were the key.

I do a weekly planning session every Monday morning on Google Calendar. When I plan my week I plan my work, my workouts, my meals and my "thing" for the relationship for that week as well, With what I do each week recorded on my calendar to make sure I am performing at my peak.

I don't want to go too over the top with trying to measure my relationship performance, but small things are easy and I think it will make a big difference. I believe that it's the secret to keeping your partner happy.

Armed with that information you can come up with a plan to make steady and consistent improvements.

Love and relationships are those intangible things that are nearly impossible to measure.

However something you can measure is your contribution to the relationship. Even if you just track one small thing, like a weekly gift, event or special moment, the ability to consistently deliver will make a big difference to your relationship in a long run.
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